


Alone/With You

by Otakumikulovinggamer4life



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Eating Disorders, F/F, Homophobia, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, Mikan has a crush on Ibuki, Molestation, PLEASE HEED THE TAGS, Parent/Child Incest, Physical Abuse, Rape, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, This is very sad okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 02:12:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13649295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otakumikulovinggamer4life/pseuds/Otakumikulovinggamer4life
Summary: The tall woman storms around the corner, “You lazy fucking whore!” She snarls, face resembling an animal hunting its prey.Mikan's heart stops for a few moments, she flinches and her book clatters to the floor. She stares at her mother with wide, spinning eyes. The angry woman is shaking a spoon, “Pay fucking attention to what you're doing, stupid little f*g! I mean honestly!” Her voice cracks as she storms over to the trembling, helpless, harmless Mikan.She grabs her daughter by the hair, a few strands coming out with the sheer force of the action as Mikan is thrown onto the floor. She cries out in pain and fear, tears running down her cheeks like spilled milk.Alternatively; A normal day in the life of Mikan Tsumiki.(slur censored to prevent triggering anyone)





	Alone/With You

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE note the tags, do not trigger yourselves by reading this. This has explicit physical abuse, rape, molestation, self harm and suicidal thoughts. The slurs are also NOT censored within the story. If you'll be fine, I hope you thoroughly my take on Mikan's home life. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. Thank you for reading!

It was a rare night for Mikan, both her mother and father being unable to come home for the night. Everything was quiet, calm,  _ peaceful _ . It was such a stark contrast to the nurse's day to day life that she felt uneasy, tapping her fingers against the table for a few moments. She paused when thinking of how annoying that sound must be, inwardly cringing at the mental image of her mother screaming at her.

 

The purple haired girl had been trying to study but to no avail, every word on the dirtied page triggered some rampant thought. Mikan remembered when her mother did that, dirtied the book. She'd thrown her entire bookbag out into the backyard, in fact. Rain soaked it in mere moments and mud clawed at both it and its contents.

 

In nothing but a ratty nightgown, the purple haired girl ran out to retrieve it, being properly soaked down to the bone. She shivered the entire night, desperately but successfully salvaging her books as she dried them. With a very quiet, barely audible sigh, Mikan stood up and closed the book gently. As she stood in her bedroom, she stared up at the crescent moon through her cracked window.

 

_ The sky is quite beautiful tonight _ , she thought to herself. Stars danced and twirled with one another, not a cloud to be seen. Mikan was sure that many people would be admiring the sky tonight.  _ Admiring _ , she mumbled to herself. A look of love and adoration, being entranced by beauty, it was a look she'd never received.

 

As the moonlight shone on her face, skin a milky white save for the purple bruises around her right eye and beside her lip. It was like looking at God, such a still moment that dare not be interrupted. Maybe, just maybe, if she stared at something as beautiful as the moon, it would rub off on her.

 

Maybe, just maybe, her mother would look at her kindly. Mikan's hands balled into fists subconsciously, eyes going dark as she remembered the sneer of utter disgust her mother directed to her, only ever breaking for anger. The predatory look her father gave her body. Mikan had long ago accepted that he didn't love her.

 

No, her father loved her breasts, hips, thighs and of course, her vagina. That man could never keep his hands to himself… He never even looked Mikan in the face, just the broken, disgusting and dirtied body she was trapped in. He paid no mind to the cuts literally her arms, thighs and stomach. The bruises mattered not, the way her ribs poked through her skin was a trifle matter.

 

A loud ding from the oven startled her, a yelp jumping from her throat before she realized what had just happened. Mikan apologized quietly, to no one in particular, as she made her way to the kitchen. Her steps were slow yet light, she was in no rush. If she had been bringing the meal to her drunkards for parents, then she would be hurrying.

 

But, Mikan was alone tonight. She hates living alone like this.

 

She was always alone but just in spirit.  She was either sought out for abuse or went without acknowledgement for days at a time. Mikan didn't have any close friends to spend time with, she was practically chained to this house. Everyone in her class, mostly, were really nice, though!

 

She just never got to spend time with them outside of school due to her parents and the fact that, well, she didn't deserve it. Mikan didn't deserve kindness or acknowledgment, she was even worthy of the air she was breathing, that had been hammered into her head long ago.

 

The nurse pulled her dinner out of the oven, nothing extravagant or noteworthy. Nothing she did was, in the first place. The bandaged girl quaintly made her plate, barely getting any of what she'd taken all this time to make. The majority of it would be for her mother and father when they were returned in the morning, besides, she wasn't all that hungry.

 

Mikan's appetite was like that of a small child's, it was more than likely her body's way of coping with the long starvation periods it would randomly be subjected to. 

 

After quickly finishing her meal, Mikan idly watched the news for a few, long minutes. Nothing but tragedy was being reported, car crashes and freak accidents. Death, death and more  _ death _ . With vacant eyes, the purple haired girl stared at the tv. Everything was becoming muffled, the words blurring and running across each other. It was all absolute nonsense until coherent words began forming, a trick played by her mind.

 

_ Mikan Tsumiki, age 16, died in a car accident today. Mikan Tsumiki died in a tragic plane crash, Mikan Tsumiki died in a burning factory today. Mikan Tsumiki was killed during a robbery, Mikan was killed by a falling sign- _

 

_ Mikan Tsumiki in critical condition, she is unable to breathe. She is dying, dying,  _ **_dying!_ **

 

**_She's dead already, you can't be saved!_ **

  
  


Mikan jumped back, almost sliding off of her seat.

She started coughing, heart pounding as she struggled to catch her breath. There was no one there to keep her attention, to keep her from doing things like  _ that _ . Mikan surmises that she also hates eating alone.

 

Her eyes were blown wide as she stared up at the screen, the woman with tidy brown hair and a dark suit smiled.

 

“For a happier story, we go to Jessica.” Was all Mikan heard before,  with a trembling hand, she grabbed the remote and turned it off. The clock on the wall ticked incessantly, giving her horribly anxiety as she finally looked at it.  _ 10:54 _ it read, nearly eleven. 

 

_ It's late, I should get to bed _ . 

 

Mikan thought, slowly standing from her chair and taking a deep breath. It was no use, her body was still shaking like a leaf in the wind. She turned the lights off in the dining room before doing the same in the kitchen, eventually turning all of the lights off.

  
  


Mikan made her way back into her room, passing through her door-less entry ways. Her mother had removed them some time ago, saying that Mikan would only use them to invite people over and… The nurse felt a bit dizzy, who ever did that kind of thing for fun?  It confused her.

 

Sex was associated with nothing but pain and violence for the nurse. Her father forcing his way into her as she just laid there, lifelessly taking the pain. Her eyes staring up at their cracking ceiling, his hands gripping hard enough to leave bruises and imprints. He would thrust and Mikan would simply ponder over what to eat for dinner the next night.  Who could ever enjoy such a thing? 

 

It was how she coped with her father's actions, the purple haired girl would simply go on ‘autopilot’. Think about anything and everything else, expression neutral.  Of course, when Mikan was growing up, she screamed, cried and struggled every time. She would scream that it hurts and  _ why are you doing this _ but it never worked. She gave up at ten, finding things went quicker if she didn't react at all.

 

The nurse shook her head before removing every article of clothing, underwear included. Once she slipped under her covers, she realized that her disrobing was actually unnecessary.  _ Stupid _ … Mikan scolded herself, the removal of her clothes was a force of habit. Her father wasn't home tonight, she reminded herself,  but she was much too tired to get up again.

 

Sleeping in her own bed felt foreign to her, another rare feet. Sleeping alone felt off… The bed felt like a vast ocean, it was frigid. Mikan surmised that maybe her mother is right, maybe she is a slut because, god, she hates sleeping alone.     

 

Everything was quiet and still, darkness enveloping everything in sight. Mikan wrapped her arms around herself, nails digging into the tender skin of her arms. Her pale, fragile arms scarred to hell and back. Practically every inch of them were covered in either old scars or fresh ones from just a day or two ago. That's why she always wore bandages, she couldn't subject others to just how ugly her body was. 

 

She was shaking, heart pounding. This darkness… It felt like she could be seized at any time. That any moment, her mother would be snatching her out of bed for a beating or that her father had come home early,  _ just for her _ . 

 

Mikan felt nauseous, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to shut the world out. She just wanted a moment of peace but even alone, she could not obtain it. Her breathing was erratic, tears springing but the purple haired girl quickly wiped them away. 

 

She just needed to fall asleep. Sure, she would be faced with terrifying nightmares but she felt as if her heart would give out from the anxiety this darkness was giving her. Mikan thought about happy things, her classmates. 

 

Ibuki’s smiling face, Komaeda's ridiculous luck bringing about snacks, Gundam showing her some adorable bunnies. The wonderful smiling faces of her friends who were kind enough to tolerate a dirty pig like her. Mikan really considered herself lucky, they would all stoop down to her level and associate with her.  _ What kind people… _

 

Her thoughts went back to Ibuki, what a wonderful girl she was. Beautiful, loud, friendly, funny and adored by everyone. Ibuki was everything that Mikan was  _ not _ . That perfect flowing hair, the healthy skin, the dazzling smile, the joyous voice. Everyone was friends with Ibuki, she was cherished amongst every class. Mikan wasn't even wanted, let alone  _ cherished _ .  

 

Yet, for some reason, the girl who resembled the sun itself was so kind to the nurse. Mikan couldn't understand it, not one bit. Sure people gave her common courtesy but Ibuki would go out of her way to make Mikan laugh or smile, talk to her at lunch and sing her songs.

 

There was even a time the punk rock girl walked her home. Mikan found that it was nice to walk beside someone who wasn't threatening you, barely containing their anger and keeping their arms to the side. She'd foolishly let herself start smiling, still doing so when she and Ibuki made it to her front steps.

 

A chill ran up Mikan's spine when her mother threw the door open, not even so much as glancing at Ibuki. “You're late.” She said through grit teeth, dark blue eyes burning through her messy, purple bangs. Mikan bowed her head as she apologized, walking into her home.

 

Her mother at least had the courtesy until Ibuki was a good distance from their home to start screaming, voice cracking like lightning and thunder as Mikan cried and cried and cried somewhere. “Are you trying to seduce her, you slut?!” Her mother grabbed the front of her collar, Mikan sobbed as she flinched.

 

Slowly she shook her head, “N-no, mother…” Her voice was a whisper in the storm that had arisen within the living room. 

 

“Lies don't work on me you fucking fag!” With the slur, Mikan was thrown onto the ground. Her mother's words were raining down on her and she did nothing but sob and shake,  _ terrified.   _ “What is she to you, then?! A  _ friend _ ?!” Her mother hissed the word, face red like a rose during spring.  

 

Mikan looked up at her mother, tears falling from her eyes like a babbling brook. She stared up at her like a sinner begging for forgiveness, “N-no, she and I aren't friends…” Those words stung worse the scratch across collarbone, her bruised knees and screaming arms. She wanted a friend so badly but there was no one low enough in this world to be on the same level as her.

 

Ibuki being her friend? That was utterly blasphemy. In Mikan's eyes, Ibuki was a  _ god _ . “She is  _ only _ an acquaintance…” Mikan's eyes fluttered shut as her head hung low, silence filled the room. A hard kick in her head crumpled Mikan like a torn sheet of paper, her mother walking away haughtily.          

 

The next day, Ibuki asked Mikan if she wanted to walk home together again. With a polite smile and a slight headache, the nurse declined.  _ Ibuki really was so kind... _ With that thought, sleep finally wrapped around the nurse and she was out like a light.

  
  


She woke up screaming, bolting upright as she panted, lilac eyes blown wide. Her nightmares were all the same. Mikan would be all alone, never finding another living soul no matter where she searched. Then, finally she would see someone far away and her heart would almost burst with joy. She would sprint and skip, having the audacity to smile.

 

This stranger wouldn't budge an inch until Mikan was directly behind them, it was always a woman. A woman with blonde, nearly yellow hair dressed in a kimono. She would turn slowly, face twisted into a snarl that nearly rivaled Mikan's mother. Instinctively, the nurse would try to back away but it was fruitless. The woman always grabbed her, dainty hands wrapping around the purple haired girl's neck as she screamed for somebody,  _ anybody _ to save her but help never came.

 

It took Mikan a few moments to realize that she was home, the light of the early morning sun shining down on her bare body, the cover in a heap upon her lap.

 

The nurse felt a few tears slip down her cheeks, shaking from her nightmare. This was the usual, it happened every morning and every morning, her father would berate her. She did nothing but ruin his good sleep, his meals, his bed when she turned the sheets red. 

 

However, no such thing happened.  _ Ah, right, they aren't home yet _ . Mikan remembered, slowly getting out of bed and shivering at the cold air, it invaded every inch of her body and made her strikingly self conscious. The purple haired girl covered her chest with her hands, quickly making her way to the bathroom.

 

She changed quickly, into a loose shirt and a pair of jeans. It was Saturday, after all. She had no plans, as usual. Mikan avoided looking at the mirror entirely, never once making eye contact with her own reflection. The sight of herself made the nurse want to wretch. Her face that always covered in healing bruises, those dark eyes she hated, the imperfect smile and too big nose.

 

She was just so ugly, her face was one that not even a mother could love. Mikan exited her bathroom, going back to the kitchen. Her parents would be home soon so she began reheating last night's dish, while also making omelettes. Her lavender eyes stared down at the sizzling food, not saying a word. 

 

Everything was so quiet. Her hands began to shake, she felt like something terrible was about to happen. Something to disrupt the quiet and set her heart ablaze. But, it never came. Breakfast was made in complete and utter silence, Mikan began mumbling to herself.

 

“I'll have to study for that test tonight, hopefully I can focus.” She said absentmindedly as she gently placed a mouthful of omelette into her mouth, it was alright but nothing noteworthy. 

 

“I bet Ibuki will have forgotten about the test, again.” She said with a small smile, giggling quietly as it bounced off of the walls, screaming once the echo assaulted her ears. Such an ugly laugh, she thought, smile falling but her cheeks were a slight pink. She really did like Ibuki so much…

 

Mikan flinched, remembering her mother spitting at her and saying that no child of hers will be a ‘dirty fucking faggot’. Ibuki would probably reel back in disgust,  _ everyone would _ . Mikan is so dirty, so repulsive, how could she even have such thoughts about another girl. She deserved to be  _ hit _ .

 

Finally, with a loud jingling of keys, Mikan's heart leaps into her throat. Her palms are sweaty and shaking, her chest feels tight, she is panicking. However, she swallows it all down and forces a smile onto her face. The door slams against the wall, the nurse jumps just slightly.

 

Her heart is banging against her rib cage, “ **_TSUMIKI!”_ ** Her name is screamed and she scrambles, practically running to the door.

 

“Y-yes?” Her eyes are glued to the floor, too afraid to look the personification of anger in the eye. Her mother looks down at her, billowing at six foot one, she huffs.

 

“I smell breakfast, am I correct?” The dark haired woman's voice shakes with restraint, Mikan simply nods and barely withholds a squeak of terror. A hum is her response, the storm with skin moving past her and heading towards the kitchen. 

 

Her father, however, wraps his arms around Mikan. Sure, it's a ‘hug’ but can it really be called that when her breasts are pressed against his chest, his hands groping at her buttocks. The nurse makes no attempts to hug him back, simply wrinkling her nose at the pungent aroma of alcohol wafting off of the man of her stature. 

 

He pulled away soon enough, following after his wife into the kitchen. After a few moments, the bandaged girl timidly followed suit. She simply grabbed a glass of milk and sat at the table, watching as her mother and father made small talk. “How much did you eat?” Her mother sneers when their eyes meet, blue eyes brimming with animosity. 

 

The bandaged girl starts trembling immediately, shaking lips parting as she speaks, “Oh! I only ate-” She can't even defend herself, she doesn't even know why she tries. 

 

“ **_Pig_ ** .” Her mother spits and Mikan reels, squeaking out an apology as her head swims. Slowly, she lowers the milk glass onto the table and dares not to touch it again. Her head is lowered in shame, her eyes are misty. Shame is oozing from her very being, a sorry creature from the day of her conception. 

 

Things go quiet once more and she struggles not to hyperventilate, silence around her mother means a fist or a foot, sometimes a plate or pan will be taken to her body. Mikan suddenly starts, “D-did you h-hear about th-the train a-a-accident?” She says, referring to what little she saw of the news yesterday.  

 

Her father smacks his food, her mother says, “Apparently gas prices are on the rise, again?” Mikan is ignored, as usual. It's alright, who wanted to talk about such a boring topic, anyways? No one ever cared about what trash had to say, she was always talking to herself, essentially. 

 

If you speak but are not acknowledged, you are talking to yourself. Mikan hates talking to herself, she hates talking at all. Gas is more interesting, she convinced herself and her father nonchalantly replied.

 

His short, messy grey hair and purple eyes. He is such a stark contrast to the woman across from him, he in suspenders and dirtied shoes while she dawns a pristine black suit and heels.  Breakfast ended quickly, Mikan picking up everyone's plates and taking care of them. 

 

She washed them and dried them, placing them back in the cabinet before placing their utensils in their respective areas within the drawer. Quiet as a mouse, the nurse crept into her room and pulled out her book, intent on studying. 

 

She hears her mother enter the kitchen, the heels are a dead giveaway. Mikan can't place why but a feeling of dread washes over her, she's nearly drowning in despair. Blood is rushing through her ears, only making her mother's screaming that much more disorienting. The tall woman storms around the corner, “You lazy fucking whore!” She snarls, face resembling an animal hunting its prey.

 

Mikan's heart stops for a few moments, she flinches and her book clatters to the floor. She stares at her mother with wide, spinning eyes. The angry woman is shaking a spoon, “Pay fucking attention to what you're doing, stupid little fag! I mean  _ honestly _ !” Her voice cracks as she storms over to the trembling, helpless,  _ harmless _ Mikan.

 

She grabs her daughter by the hair, a few strands coming out with the sheer force of the action as Mikan is thrown onto the floor. She cries out in pain and fear, tears running down her cheeks like spilled milk. “How hard is it to put a spoon with the other spoons, not fucking forks! Are you God damn blind?!” Her heel presses into Mikan's chest and she can't breathe, she's struggling, she feels like she's dying.

 

Her entire body is shaking with the force of her sobs, “I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” She repeats like a mantra, trying to get air into her pitiful lungs but her mother simply grabs her hair once more, yanking on it. Mikan wishes with all of her might that she was blind, that she never knew her mother's scalding glare and her father's lust filled grin.

 

Suddenly, the crying girl is kicked in the side, she almost wretches but she has nothing to throw up. Her mother kicks and kicks and  _ kicks _ until Mikan's body is covered in bruises, until the heels have drawn blood. “Stupid fucking bitch, why'd you have to inherit my genes and fucking waste them?!” Mikan sobbed egregiously, snot everywhere as spit trailed down her chin and blood sprang forth from her nose.

 

She knows what's coming next as she looks up at her mother's long, flowing, perfect hair. Scissors glint in the light, they cut away happily at the mess of locks atop the nurse's head. Once done, the storm with skin stared down at her like the trash she was. Mikan missed the peace, the silence. She hated this raging storm, she hated the screaming,  **_she hated living here._ **

 

She is kicked one last time before her mother stomps off, leaving Mikan in a heap of tears and blood. Eventually, with her aching skin and wailing bones, the nurse pulls herself up and stumbles into the bathroom. Clumsily, she tends to the small cuts in her abdomen and wipes her face clean from blood. 

 

When the rains have settled and the tears have stopped, the timid girl scurries back into her room and uselessly picks up her book.  _ I need to study for that test _ , Mikan thinks to herself. 

  
  


Night time rolls around and once more, Mikan is called. The voice is gruff and nefarious, she shakes as she slowly makes her way to her father's room. He's in the bed, shirtless as the rest of his body is obscured by the sheets but she knows it all too well. “Come join me, baby girl~.” He sing songs as if he isn't talking to his actual daughter. Mikan just nods, peeling off her shirt and then her pants.

 

Her father sits up at this, getting off at his little show. She undoes her bra and shimmies out of her underwear, looking up and seeing nothing but that lopsided smirk as his eyes are obscured by the darkness. Mikan slips into the sheets, immediately feeling his arms around her as his arousal presses between her thighs.

 

However, he spares her tonight. It is just his hands that travel downward and breach into her, eliciting no reaction from him as she doesn't even blink as her father's free hand grabs her breast. She stares at the wall, mind going black for a few moments before she dwells on today. 

 

_ I hate eating with you, I hate talking with you, I hate sleeping with you, I hate living with you _ .

 

A single tear slips down Mikan's cheek as her father pushes deeper, 

  
**_I hate living, at all_ ** **.**

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I hope this was worth the read.


End file.
